A Recap of Life

In the midst of working on a paper of a heavy metal anthology, I have made the decision that this blog post is more important to me and my grade can wait.  For those of you reading, please feel flattered.

This post serves no more purpose then to give me an outlet to write something down, a craving I've had for a few days now.  I would be lying if I said I came here on free will.  In truth, I have just returned from a showing of the film Life Itself, chronicling the life of influential film critic Robert Ebert up to his recent death.  The film was very well done, and emotional in a way that invigorated me into a desire to create, which is a feeling I try to cherish very deeply and more times than not end up allowing to slip by.  Whether this post will grow into more, I am unsure but hopeful.  I wish to use this blog as an outlet for my day-to-day thoughts and directions.  It will also serve as a place to post my different written works of poetry, short fiction, essays, etc.  Is this productive?  The big picture suggests no, but my fingers currently typing these words say yes.  I have neglected this blog and many others.  I have gotten tired of writing posts that claim a rebirth of this specific medium, so I will not make such a declaration.  Instead, I will leave before making a conclusion in the hopes that it will open the door to a new experience for me.  Teachings of responsibility while simultaneously surrounding myself in text.  The future of this blog is unclear, and based on past experience quite dark, but along with this open-ended paragraph, I myself will keep an open mind.

To the Lovely Girl in the Window

It strikes me as surprising how I’ve never noticed

The gloomy shadows of this dark neighborhood

Until I discovered the warm summer’s light

From the window where she stood.

During a casual, nightly drive,

I took nothing more than a glance

And in that moment, to see you there

In your beauty, and your brilliance

To spend an infinity in mere seconds

When my modest peek turned into a longing stare

As I saw all I needed in my life

Standing at the window, combing her hair.

Her eyes drifted out into the night

Oh, how the urgency rose in my to catch them

To pluck her vision and keep it close

I would treasure her attention like a valuable gem.

“Do not judge a book by it’s cover,”

Is a relatively flawed and dated phrase

For in that moment, I felt as if

I had read her entire story, page to page.

Perhaps, if only out of desperation

The only end I could possibly see

To this plotline that she has beautifully crafted

Would be to end it with me.

But, as forever drew to a close

And reality continued its forward motion

I realized the flaw of my captivating fantasy

And the foolishness of my lovesick notion.

Because it wasn’t until my vision of her was broken

That I realized, to her, I was nothing.

I wish I could say I saw her again

But sadly, I would be bluffing.

To her, I was simply another, aimless soul.

Traveling through a nightly void of nonexistent dreams

A background piece for her own life story

A speck of dust on her life’s support beams

Obvious, I know, that I wanted more

There was only so much I could’ve taken

It is best to move with the flow of time

Instead of deeming my heart a forsaken

So I move ahead with her tucked away

In the recesses of my mind’s eye

Since I couldn’t say it then, I might as well say it now

To the lovely girl in the window, good-bye.